Carpenter Cartoons

by Theresa (T-) McCracken

Like a cartoon on this web site, but wish the caption, characters, or settings were different? No problem. I can modify it for you. Have cartoon ideas of your own? I can draw those up too.

Elves Cartoon 5979: "Reason # 23 that doors don't make perfect seal against winter winds: Mischievous unemployed elves." Elves remove a door from its hinges.

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Bird Cartoon 4978: A bird looking at a man building birdhouse, "It's always the same design. I wish he'd get a more imaginative set of house plans."

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Carpenter Cartoon 2417: "Why you should never leave a sander alone in a locked room." A carpenter looks at a huge hole in a floor.

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ER Cartoon 7325: A carpenter in a hospital about to plug in his circular saw yelling, "CLEAR!"

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Insect Cartoon 5733: "Union and Non-Union Carpenter Ants." One ant eats away at a house while one pounds tiny boards over a chewed up area.

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Carpenter Cartoon 7541: Carpenter ants with tool belts look at blue prints of an ant hill and say, “The Architect Ant really outdid himself this time, don't you think?"

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Contractor Cartoon 6400: A man holding a rough piece of paper with writing on it says to a building to contractor, "This is the first time I've seen a contract written on sandpaper."

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Carpenter Cartoon 6392: A carpenter uses a measuring tape around a portly gentleman says, "Just measuring you for the breakfast nook."

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Roofing Cartoon 6422: "Dave, a roofer, goes to a psychiatrist and spills his gutters."

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Carpenter Cartoon 6335: A contractor's sign says "McWit's Carpentry, Deli, Auto Repair, Financial Consulting and Lite Puff Pastries." The owner says, "The only way to survive these days is to diversify."

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Cartoons From a Slightly Warped Mind

Now available as an eBook for $2.99 and as an autographed paperback for $7.50.

It's a collection of 100 of my most popular cartoons, including Lemming Suicide Hotline, Dorothy selling the Tin Man to a recycling center, and Druids changing to Daylight Saving Time.

Holy Rollers: Murder and Madness in Oregon's Love Cult

Now available as an eBook with lots of extras for a measly $3.99!

Amazon.com *** iTunes It's my first book of literary nonfiction published by Caxton Press. It's a story that has everything a good read should have: sex, religious fervor, mass insanity, the downfall of prominent families, murder & sensational court trials. AND it's all true. To learn more about cults and the book, go to Holy Rollers

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yachats-history.com

is a website I'm developing that has lots of "Then and Now" photos, stories about Native Americans, homesteaders, entrepreneurs, and colorful characters who have lived, worked and played in the quirky town I work in, Yachats, Oregon.

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T-shirts, mugs, cards, posters, prints & more.

With print on demand you can have cartoons printed on just about anything. Visit my two online stores.

Magazines I've drawn for?

The New Yorker, of course ... although they've yet to have the good sense to buy any of my work. Hundreds of others have, from the Saturday Evening Post to The Oregonian to large publishing houses to small trade journals. Let me draw a few cartoons for you. No matter what, I hope you get a few laughs as you go through my site.

Cartoons Recently Rejected by the New Yorker

Calendars With McHumor Cartoons

Use Cartoons in Presentations.

Public Speakers, even when speaking on serious topics, break the ice with a joke. Cartoons do the same thing--and you can't "tell a cartoon wrong.

Use Cartoons in Textbooks, Advertisements, Brochures, Web Sites & Blogs.

Cartoons & humorous illustrations grab people's attention and therefore increase your chances to convey your message.

Use Cartoons on T-shirts.

Events can't be called true events unless they have official T-shirts, and t-shirts with personalized cartoons on them are the T-shirts preferred by 9 out of 10 people stranded on a desert island.

Personalized Cartoons: An illustration of anyone can be Photoshopped into any cartoon on the mchumor.com web site. This is a great CHEAP gift.

The perfect "gift from the gang" at retirement or going away parties is an original cartoon of the guest of honor.

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How One Cartoonist's Mind Works: How to create cartoon ideas.

Information For Gag Writers

The Komic, a Graphic Novel in the Making

Got comments and/or suggestions about this web page design? Contact me. I, a techno moron, first designed it on an ancient, but much-loved circa 1997 Macintosh.

Many assume images found on the web can be used for free and are in the public domain. Many are not. I've spent years drawing these cartoons and I support my family selling them online so please contact me before using any. THANKS! Theresa (T-) McCracken, Humble & Financially Strapped Cartoonist